Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
