Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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