just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
