just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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