Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
