White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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