drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
this hospital has no fireball
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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