This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
