I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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