he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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