my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
