Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
