what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
