btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
