I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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