marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
