You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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