Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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