Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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