i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
