I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
