Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
