Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
