your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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