Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
