so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
