Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
