1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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