oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
