You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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