Are we in a gay sports bar?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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