I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
