can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
