i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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