i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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