I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
