Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize