so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
