Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
