Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
