whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I need water and some morals
Randomize
