And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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