Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
