just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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