He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The air was thick with penises
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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