Nicole vs. Life
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize