3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I've blown a few things in my day
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
