Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
