It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
