He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
