It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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