party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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