I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
