Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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