I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
