hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
