Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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