Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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