i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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