Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
