Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
