Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
