Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
