Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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