I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize