Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
