i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
